Crack up an age-old bottle of cosmic chardonnay and slurp into the mellow Virgo vibes. We’re here to spellcast all the futuristic grooves and dunes of these sweet-talkin’ Earth signs this month.

Given that they rank sixth in the trippy astro spheres of the zodiac alignment, it’s no wonder that Virgos are the only ones that make any logical sense from the rest of the complex celestials. It’s definitely easy to spot your typical Virgo: you’ll notice their round and dilated eyes observing every detail of the world, and their occasional chakra-fueled levitation whenever they share their prophetic wisdom.

This month is about to get as quaking as the next Taylor Swift album drop, fellow Earthies. Blasts from the past may crawl out of some dark pits of your life… some that were better off in sealed catacombs. Cat fights and claws may be lurking your way but keep calm, your logic and level headedness will be doing you a hella lot more good during this shook-worthy time. For the Virgo gals, keep your femme fatale look at bay for an easy astro upperhand.

Your reliability and clean-cut attitude has made you life’s troubleshooter on speed-dial amongst your friends and family. Calls will be off the hook for your deep and intellectual wisdom, usually for essential oil preferences, but more notably on how to chaperone your friend with their loosely acquainted double date. Thank the heavenly stars that your grounded sense of style can switch up any awkward hookup to hot catch n’ deal by the end of the night.

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